We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
