What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
