Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize