barbara walters just said penis...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
