I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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