Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
