You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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