Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I am one with the molecules
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
