he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
