is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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