im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
