my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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