I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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