i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
