Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
