Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I booty called her while she was in labor.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
