Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
