Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
that's an acceptable place to lick
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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