That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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