fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
