i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
