she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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