You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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