We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
