ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
