SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
