Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
