Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
