Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
