highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't deserve a penis
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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