there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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