So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
