i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
