Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
