I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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