girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
