i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
high people should be assigned attendants
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
