It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
