I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
