is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
