I didn't shave. On purpose
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
