Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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