yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
