This girl is more easily done than said...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
