Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
