Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
