I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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