I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
