Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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