I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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