similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
