U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
