did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
The air taste purple.
Randomize
