Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
