i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
