He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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