i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
