I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We have started to decorate penises.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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